No thank you very much, I absolutely don’t and I absolutely won’t!

Ah, I was referring to the current owner of the crown.

She’s a former prosecutor. He’s a compulsive liar, misogynist and racist former reality TV star with dementia who isn’t used to being told to wait his turn before he can speak.

And together they fight grime?

One foot? More like five feet ten inches!

The Crown Prosecution Service.

First thing I turned off in my new car when I got it. I hate the feeling that the car is no longer responding to my inputs.

Time for a Tub of Lard then.

SOCRATES: What’s a what, now?

No, but they were:

Strategic bombing of a civilian population

The most successful besiegers were probably the Romans. It wasn’t so much the act of laying siege that caused cities to surrender, it was the utter, uncompromising determination of the Romans to see the siege through to the end, and the atrocities they would commit on the surrendering population that made them so successful. Surrender immediately and you don’t get enslaved or butchered… hold out and things will go very, very badly.

I don’t recall all the details but there was one siege in western Europe where the mayor of the town declared ‘you won’t take us: we have supplies for four years in our store houses’ to which the Roman commander replied ‘then we’ll take you on the fifth year.’

Or take Masada, a supposedly impregnable fortress built on a mountaintop. First the Romans built walls all the way around it, both to contain the Jewish ‘rebels’ but also to protect the Roman siegeworks from any potential rescue force. Then they just built a ramp. A massive, massive ramp, that reached all the way up to the fortress walls (which weren’t that strong because who builds a strong wall when your fortress is perched on top of a mountain?). Then they wheeled up some siege engines, smashed their way through the walls and discovered most of the inhabitants had commited suicide rather than face capture.

Strategic bombing of a civilian population has only ever hardened that population’s resolve.

Are you including Hiroshima and Nagasaki in that?

Goldman Sachs is overhyped and unreliable.

Whoa, slow down there, Einstein, I don’t understand your hacker jargon!

This feels cyberpunk. Some netrunner will hack the system and give free meals away because fuck the corpos, right?

I’m anaspeptic, phrasmotic, even compunctuous to have read such pericombobulation.

In today’s money? About 17p, or 21 US cents. Shocking, really. I’ve got a club because at that price, why wouldn’t you?

“If you want to respect the rule of law, you’ve got to start from the original lawgiver, which was Moses”

Bollocks, more like.

The earliest known laws are from The Code of Ur-Nammu from Mesopotamia written on tablets around  2100–2050 BCE. If Moses existed, he was probably chiselling away at his tables six or seven hundred years later.

So I demand that these laws replace the 10 Commandments in schools. Who could forget such classics as:

• If a prospective son-in-law enters the house of his prospective father-in-law, but his father-in-law later gives his daughter to another man, the father-in-law shall return to the rejected son-in-law twofold the amount of bridal presents he had brought.
• If a man’s slave-woman, comparing herself to her mistress, speaks insolently to her, her mouth shall be scoured with 1 quart of salt.
• If a man, in the course of a scuffle, smashed the limb of another man with a club, he shall pay one mina of silver.
• If a man stealthily cultivates the field of another man and he raises a complaint, this is however to be rejected, and this man will lose his expenses.

Or a piece an’ Macaroni Pie. Carb in Carb in Carb. I’m sure you could get the pie battered too in the right chip shop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWBjwgxEawo

Defragged cows. System files cannot be moved.