❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗URGENT❗❗❗❗PLeSE READ ASAP❗MY REQESTS ARE MORE IMPORATNT THAN YOUR TIME❗❗ CC: yourboss,your mum,your uni prof
Behind every ❗️❗️❗️🚨🚨🚨URGENT🚨🚨🚨❗️❗️❗️ there is a person who’s about to miss a deadline and, instead of working on themselves to prevent that from happening in the future, makes it the developer’s deadline to miss
Also that urgency is rooted in job insecurity, not even customer impact. They just don’t want to look bad.
E: which I mean fair enough, me too, but still.
So much this.
I’m in my first professional role and the first project was completed and aside from my boss I was the only other dev. So I was naturally excited for their (clients) feedback on it.
Well fast forward a couple of months where they really didn’t interact with the application much and then came the queries and then not understanding how to use it. Find boss sets aside 10 days for me to write some documentation with screenshots of all the journeys (free of charge).
Again, tumbleweeds. Then all of a sudden it’s boom emails a plenty.
Can you fix this, this is a major bug kinda emails. Like it isn’t a bug, you don’t know how to use it.
Now we are dumbing down the software to make it more align with what the business is used to, which is fine but even my boss has said (as I over think and want to reply to things instantly) that just because they have come to life doesn’t mean we drop everything else to tend to them now.
that just normal software development with contacts and waterfall. usually with agile it’s meditated to some extend, because with agile the customer is on board and cannot say afterwards i didn’t want it.
We don’t do agile, my boss usually keeps it all in his head and I have to pry it out of him what he wants done.
Also, I think you dropped this “a” from one of your words. Hehe
Hey! I just started looking at SQL and this is the first SQL joke I’ve ever seen or at least ever gotten!
So, congratulations me!
Welcome! Please complete your setup by placing this on your wall: https://xkcd.com/327
Lolz got that one too
Me this morning. I’m gonna take a look at why this Jenkins pipeline is failing. This one job starts a dozen others. Half are failing. For different reasons. After starting rewriting a job that someone half assed. Realize the original error was caused by missing input but some are still valid. Still can’t figure out why my rewritten program is erroring. Get pulled away because another program did something weird… I completed nothing today but worked a ton.
My day…
You have perfectly described my day almost everyday.
Dump all your data in a data lake, throw a thousand GPUs in there too, and you’ll have your answer in 2 hours max.
Thanks, I’ll tell the client it’ll be ready in 2h.
At work, I am currently dealing with a table that has no primary key, no foreign key, duplicate (almost) serial numbers, booleans stored as strings, and so on. It’s a nightmare of a table.
Entity framework is acting like I’m on meth for using such a table.
I’ve been there and you know what’s worse about it? When you fix it only you or a handful of people notice the astronomical labor you did.
“It worked before why did you change it? You are just doing busywork”
Yeah. Luckily the work I am doing is to fix some really bad work that the entire company has been complaining about. So once it’s fixed it will hopefully be a little bit more recognition than that. Plus my boss is pretty level headed.
But who fucking knows? There is always the likelihood that people will say things along those lines. And it ain’t my job to fight them on that.
How about a date stored as an integer?
Edit: and I’m not taking about a timestamp
No, we have worse. Dates sometimes stored as strings, sometimes as datetimes, and sometimes as integers. There is no consistency, logic, or forethought to the schema.
It’s rough.
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If it’s regular, I recommend
cron+mailutils. Have the cron job call a script with a variable sleep in it if you want to make it look more manual.Especially sick of the users who ask for the same data over and over again.
Use something like Apache Airflow to automate it :)
Me right now, discovering that our archives data have file sizes… sometimes in bytes, sometimes in kilobytes. I found some pattern this morning thinking I could know which was which, then the pattern collapsed at some date in the past.
Joy.Man I don’t regret leaving this behind at my last job. You start out by doing someone a one-off like “sure I can pull the top 5 promotional GICs broken down by region for your blog article - I love supporting my co-workers!”
Then requests become increasingly esoteric and arcane, and insistent.
You try to build a simple FE to expose the data for them, but you can’t get the time approved so you either have to do it with OT or good ol’ time theft, and even then there’s no replacement for just writing SQL, so you’ll always be their silver bullet.
Only 3h? What kind sql magician are you?!
It’s OKAY to say no.
I’ve gotta get better at this…
See this is where Excel … well, excels!
Pivot tables do these data pulls pretty easy
Please don’t tell that to any manager. They’ll misinterpret it.
Nah this is one of those slick work deals, legit all you need to do is list all your entries, order a pivot table, and then you can just arrange your variables to display however you want them to, do a little format pizaz, and voila, here’s that “report” you asked for!
Is it ironic?
Somebody tell this dude about views.
If they existed for tons of random usecases. When was the last time you created views for “just in case someone asks” situations?
So my work is archaic and doesn’t even use SQL. What are views?
Predefined queries that you can interact with like another table more or less
Basically scripts you can run on the fly to pull calculated data. You can (mostly) treat them like tables themselves if you create them on the server.
So if you have repeat requests, you can save the view with maybe some broader parameters and then just SELECT * FROM [View_Schema].[My_View] WHERE [Year] = 2023 or whatever.
It can really slow things down if your views start calling other views in since they’re not actually tables. If you’ve got a view that you find you want to be calling in a lot of other views, you can try to extract as much of it as you can that isn’t updated live into a calculated table that’s updated by a stored procedure. Then set the stored procedure to run at a frequency that best captures the changes (usually daily). It can make a huge difference in runtime at the cost of storage space.
It can really slow things down if your views start calling other views in since they’re not actually tables
They can be in some cases! There’s a type of view called an “indexed” or “materialized” view where the view data is stored on disk like a regular table. It’s automatically recomputed whenever the source tables change. Doesn’t work well for tables that are very frequently updated, though.
Having said that, if you’re doing a lot of data aggregation (especially if it’s a sproc that runs daily), you’d probably want to set up a separate OLAP database so that large analytical queries don’t slow down transactional queries. With open-source technologies, this is usually using Hive and Presto or Spark combined with Apache Airflow.
Also, if you have data that’s usually aggregated by column, then a column-based database like Clickhouse is usually way faster than a regular row-based database. These store data per-column rather than per-row, so aggregating one column across millions or even billions of rows (eg average page load time for all hits ever recorded) is fast.
A view is a saved query that pretends it’s a table. It doesn’t actually store any data. So if you need to query 10 different tables, joining them together and filtering the results specific ways, a view would just be that saved query, so instead of “SELECT * FROM (a big mess of tables)” you can do “SELECT * FROM HandyView”
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This is a programming community. The joke is that you’re asked to do something that isn’t part of your job, to do someone else’s job for them.
