I’ve had an excellent pedestal fan for 10 years for my bedroom. It’s brilliant and does everything you want, but it also has a blazing bright light-up screen to you show it’s on. But I know it’s on as it’s blowing air, I know it’s on oscillate as it’s turning - why does it need to show a neon sign in my bedroom at night with no way to turn it off? Mental.

Also totally sounds like a drug you could gland in The Culture