I’m doing so well just believing the opposite of whatever he says.

The first spam email was sent in 1978. It’s been downhill since.

Narrator: Where will you be when the amphetamine wears off?

Have the banned buzkashi yet?

Taliban is going to have to ban a bunch of stuff, because people who get a rush from gambling will gamble on anything.

TY! Do want.

But apart from the whole Foreign Emoluments Clause of the US Constitution, he’s going to pay the taxes and duties on it, right? RIGHT?

Doomscrolling to my birth year, and still no jet pack.

Plunging toward oblivion while happily screaming, “10,000’ so far so good, 5,000’ so far so good…”

Librarians are pretty chill, unless you’re a loud talker hehe

Hmm, that requires Deep Thought.

“Sometimes, a balloon knot is just a balloon knot.” Emrys Freud, Sigmund’s duller brother.

Psst, covfe.fe is available. Pass it on.

Ah yes, good old dependency.

When he shook Chief Justice Roberts’ hand and said “Thank you,” after the State of the Union address, it felt more like a “Great job, here’s your severance check, bu-bye now” kind of Thank You than a gesture of gratitude.

Wait, you mean The Commercial on the White House lawn back in March didn’t move more units?! surprisedpikachuface.jpg

He’s moving the FBI to Kash accounting.

My sympathies exactly, my dear fellow.

Best regards,

A Temporarily Embarrassed Millionaire