Should I take your word for it?

A tax cut for me is just a tax cut for me, but a tax cut for the rich could make anything happen – maybe even a tax cut for me!

“My word, this excursion is quite the jocular exercise!”

I can believe that. Most women would rather have a date with a turkey baster than him.

“It’s a Krustybuuuuuuuurger!!!”

Same. First distro that was actually painless 10 years ago, and I haven’t looked back.

And apparently, no faith in Ron White.

Right?! The perfect con for people who’ve been living under a rock for the last 3 years!

Diddy did it.

And when it comes to midnight munchies, why is it always cheese? I’ll be like, hey, let’s have a banana and my brain will say, “CHEESE. BLOCK. NOW!”

Yup. “Trans” is the new “witch”.

It’s a different type of flying

And, every Boeing ever has landed. Some in suboptimal approaches.

Hopefully. I fear the day I plug in a new monitor and the damn thing pops up a “Please enter your wifi username and password to use this monitor”

It was busy uploading a sock.

Stanley nickels?

Well, that’s a brand new sentence.

As someone who owns my own home, let me just say…me too. I don’t care if my house value goes to zero. I still have a house. I don’t know how anyone in the middle class can get into house ownership without crippling debt.

The only ones who should cry are the home-hoarding investors and landlords. Fuck em.

Meh, fist-size drywall repair kits are cheaper.

I want to get into his dreams all Inception-like and convince him that Greenland is the new Israel.