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I definitely go in with a purpose, and with a paper list that I hold clenched in my claws like it’s the last good thing I will ever hold.

If I don’t do that, I will go in to grab the one thing I need, but will become distracted seeing things I do need, but not as much as the one thing. After amassing an armful of kinda-needed-items, I will check myself out and go home, where I immediately remember I did not grab the one thing I needed.

It’s stressful as all get-out, and made so much worse by increasing costs. My face hurts when I am shopping because I can’t stop grimacing lol

Hey, he said he’d lower taxes. You can’t tax $0!

Hi Lucy, I hope you are having a great day always!

What a racist BIASED asshole!

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Futurama did a good sketch on the concept with “lightspeed briefs” where they were advertising in Fry’s dreams. Principle has always been the same.

I feel obligated to post the transcript for this reference.

Leela: Didn’t you have ad’s in the 20th century?

Fry: Well sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines. And movies. And at ball games and on buses and milk cartons and t-shirts and written on the sky! But not in dreams. No siree!

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With some dogs, anyone in the room is smelling their feet.

Is it eating a pork rind?

Ahh, yes. I see you know your judo well.

Listen. If you separate the dessert side, and debone and shred that chicken, I would 100% try the bite with the grape on it.

You. Get out.

That is bizarre! Do you think she might have weird stomach acid production? Like, maybe she uses the string to evacuate some sort of gross stomach fluid? I am going to lose sleep over this

drunk lush of a woman

I am certainly not here to be all like MEN DO IT TOO but I felt the need to drop an anecdote about a lead singer in a band I toured with once. He only drank black label beer, no liquor. He blacked out every night and pissed all the beds he met lol

Lol the account is minutes, maybe hours old. What a silly little troll

“But we don’t allow people to drink-drive, yet we keep putting them up in aircraft at 33,000ft.”

Aaah, so the problem is drunk pilots. I can get behind a two-drink maximum for flying a plane. Although, in “Flight” the guy flew a plane upside down hammered…so maybe it should be a two-drink minimum to get maximum innovation.

ETA: I prob should have added /s

I honestly didn’t know who to write down, maybe Barron? He’s heard of Trump, maybe he would actually want to give a hand to such a wretched soggy being? Or, imagine he might be invited to caddy the clubs behind the cart?

concerned family member shows up - “oh my God, is he ok??”

Aide, visibly shaken - “I honestly don’t know, I’ve never seen him like this…”

concerned family member - "is…is he out there right now?*

Aide - yes… I’m so worried, he is out there right now, just… playing golf, all day, every day… he needs to stop and confront his feelings and all he can do is golf sob"

CFM “earlier you said 27 holes… he must be exhausted just trying to cope…this is really bad”

Aide - “IT IS SO BAD PLEASE HELP HIM!!”

CFM - “God be with me, I will get him to come inside and drink a diet coke. Hopefully he will snap out of this madness…”

Aide - “…please…go with God!”

CFM - “God will guide me to him. Wish me luck!”

removes leather shoes, hops in cart, and speeds away through the green grass, nary a thought to use the given path… this is the most important rescue in the world. People say that it was the most important, maybe, probably, the most important, ever.

Don’t stop, don’t… stop… I’m about to… VOTE