Pucker up, Omaha is going to be a tight race. And next year they’re going to try again to go to winner take all here. Lines hours long for early voting in areas that traditionally have never had lines.

Cross your fingers for Vargas and Osborn too.

I think you said it better than I did. Dude just wanted to educate and people just can’t let something be good. It has to be correct.

I blame Alton Brown.

Hear me out.

Alton Brown is undoubtedly a legendary figure and he did a lot of good for the modern state of culinary entertainment. His scientific, experimental approach was authoritative. He came up with what was scientifically the best way to do a thing, demonstrated why, and did it in a very entertaining way.

But with that, came scores of fans who saw “this is the best way to do a thing” and interpreted that as “this is the only way to do a thing, fuck you you’re doing it wrong.”

Alton wasn’t doing what other TV chefs were doing. Emeril and Julia presented really good recipes, they’d add some flare and say hey, this is how we do it around here. Bourdain explored the world and showed off a lot of great ways to cook. He was reluctant to criticize and clearly just loved the food.

But Alton Brown, for all the good he did, opened up authority to fans who didn’t know shit about fuck. He spoke with confidence about how his method was the right method.

Right about the time the Internet was coming in to it’s own and arguing about nonsense online became a hobby a person could have.

Now, there’s a culture of being right about cooking online. People who log in every day just to bitch about how somebody else cooked something.

Obviously it’s not exclusively Alton’s fault, and Alton is as open to new and interesting ways to cook things as Bourdain was, a fact you’ll discover if he ever happens to visit your home town and read what he says about the food there on his Facebook page.

But there is a through line there, and it starts at Good Eats.

That is absolutely not what Clinton was impeached for.

The investigation in to Clinton began before he’d ever met Lewinsky, and it was over some real estate dealings. Because Clinton had not actually committed an impeachable offense, Ken Starr had to keep going back to Congress to ask for a wider scope.

The investigation took so long that after it began, Lewinsky was hired, Clinton won a re-election, there was sexual activity, word got out about it, and then Clinton lied about it under oath during a completely different deposition regarding a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by Paula Jones, which is what he was ultimately impeached for.

It wasn’t the affair or the harassment, it was the lie, and it was only the lie because they were absolutely desperate to impeach Clinton for anything by that point.

I read that in an incomprehensible British accent

I made it to the J’s before I found a company there was even a chance I might support, and it’s the worst of the sandwich options near me that isn’t a subway.

Sysco was the next one and that’s just because if you go to a restaurant, chances are pretty good they’re getting their food from Sysco.

I used to use the company Wi-Fi to look for other jobs every time they threatened a change I didn’t like.

Well in the US, no one was originally intended to vote but the male landed gentry, who clearly could afford to travel for several days to their polling place, get plastered on local liquor, and just shout who they were voting for at whomever was supposed to jot that down. Them that person would go off and vote for whoever they wanted, in case the peasants had gotten any silly ideas and voted for the wrong guy.

Braveheart strokes the same freedom boner that The Patriot does.

So it’ll be paid off sometime between the last star dying and the first black hole evaporating.

I would be thrilled, but I don’t think he has a chance.

I see more Osborne signs than Fischer signs. But that’s just Omaha. I see a lot of blue dots, but that’s just Omaha. I see as many counter signs to that. Red states, pax man eating a blue dot, red dots, you name it. Down the street from me it’s like two neighbors are having a fucking duel with signs.

It’s gonna be close. And sadly I think Fisher has a massive advantage.

Ah yes, the famous adage, “the only rational people are in my specific age and demographic bracket. Everyone else is fucking insane”

I need not tolerate those who want me dead. The only people who think that’s a paradox are fundamentally terrible people.

I dunno, when Neelix made the soup spicy Tuvok thought it was too spicy.

Sex scenes peaked when Tommy Wiseau passionately made love to a belly button and you can’t tell me differently.

What you didn’t want to see a dude fuck his sister, a dude rape a teenager, or a little dude fuck a bunch of prostitutes?

For all the time GRRM spends describing sex, he really goes out of his way to make it as fucked up as possible.

To “throw around”

Is an interesting way of working “give to his friends while committing sweepstakes fraud.”

No the metal one is the poop knife

YOU GET LISTERIA YOU GET LISTERIA!! EVERYONE GETS LISTERIA!!

Trump or Vance in 6 months in the bad timeline: “the industry will regulate itself!”