Everytime I think I’m a little “out there”, I remember THIS dork exists, which frees up my mind to do other things.

Like put on a mushroomhead XX logo painted jason mask, a diana ross wig, and flannel shirt so I could go to a Fiona Apple concert, mostly against my will, get up to the front of the stage and start waving my hand enthusiastically and yell “HI HIPPIE LADY!!! HELLO!!! HELLO HIPPIE LADY!!! HIIIIIII!!!” as her bassist had to walk off stage from laughing too much, Fiona Apple looking annoyed, and 2000 people all glaring daggers at me. Luckily the crowd was 100% females besides me. So no violence towards my antics actually took place.

Times are crazy. Especially when I remember that story is like 20 years old.

…is it not obvious? Is that why people are downvoting the joke?

“If you pass these bills, and reject womens care, women will DIE!!!”

“Pssshhhh no they won’t! Quit being stupid!”

women die

shocked pikachu faces

But hey, at least we changed a few sports team names. So that’s something, right?

Please tell me she’s using grant money to conduct these science exparements!

Dude. You ripped him off!!! The price tag clearly says double what you paid! You’re basically stealing from this shop owner. Pawn shop profit margins are razor thin!

How much is it? And how long is it?

Also, saw some clear SMW inspirations in that little clip too. So it’s drawing inspiration from all over. And was Santa NAKED??? Is that a power-up? Naked Santa cums once a year?

Really? You never used kung-fu to disarm swat teams, killing dozens with their own guns, while never taking damage yourself? You never sped through your local streets as tanks shot mortors at your toyota geo?

You’re telling me your wife never saved you with rockets fired from a helicopter in a high speed highway chase?

Yeah…you didn’t read a single sentence of the comment you replied to, did you? Aw hell. What makes me think you’ll read THIS far into the message??? Tiktok is just what this generation has been needing. An entire generation of kids who don’t waste their time reading!

May I introduce you to RadioShack? Where they used to prompt you to sign up for a credit card, ask to record your personal info on a RadioShack loyalty card system (that nobody seems to remember), and one time, the lady asked me to impregnate her. I’m unclear if that was RadioShack policy, or if she was just itching. Either way it was kind of messed up, because I was 14. I looked and sounded older, but I was 14. She was like 30ish.

Yeah…try that in CVS.

“No no, I’d rather NOT have a reciept that’s 3 miles long, because I bought a candy bar…”

But we already cut down 3 trees just for you!

“No.”

"Oh, you’re taking this irrelevant slip of paper! We have armed guards to make sure you do! There is a world war 2 tank outside that will crush you, and blow up your car! I know it’s not really a war worthy tank, and in that sense it’s obsolete, but it can still more than handle your toyota geo. Now then…take…the…reciept!

NEVER!!!

GUARDS!!!

And then a Kill Bill-esque fight scene breaks out. You know, like when she fought the crazy 88s. Except instead of a group of ninjas headed by a 14 year old Japanese girl, it’s a group of swat team members headed by a 17 year old CVS register worker wearing a red CVS vest that he uses as a choking hazard on you in the fight.

Your goal is to dodge bullets, matrix style, while disarming one guard to shoot the rest of the guards dead, so you can fight this CVS employee one on one, as wave after wave of reinforcements constantly change the dynamic of the battle.

Finally, after defeating all the guards, you return to your car to return home, and as you make your turn onto the main road, thats when you see it. A world war 2 era tank firing mortors at you, as you’re forced to weave all over the road. Other cars exploding, you’re all over the road, a helicopter has joined the chase. Suddenly the helicopter is firing air to surface missles, and as you dodge them, they blow up the tank.

The helicopter then lands right in front of you on the highway. As you prepare for the final battle, the door opens it’s your wife. You both embrace, and take off in the helicopter. Forever on the lamb. Always running from the threat of CVS employees that can strike at any time.

And then there’s guys like me. I don’t announce when I’m coming. I grab the items myself, and then I pay in cash. Nonsequential bills. I’m like a ninja! I can’t be traced! Shashasha!!! Pocket sand!

Then on the way home, if I see someone following me home, I make 3 left turns. If they’re STILL following me? I turn around, and I shoot them…a dirty look!

What? I’m not a psychopath. I just don’t like being followed.

I got it working. I wasn’t expecting it to be as simple as pasting 2 lines of code into a config file. Still not sure why emulationstation doesn’t see them, but at least retroarch does now.

Plus I fixed my issue of emulators not saving. I am SO excited with what I’m building. Every game from my childhood on one machine. Arcade, NES, SNES, Master System, Genesis, N64, PS1, Dreamcast.

It’s all here. I turn on one machine, and it’s all here! 14 year old me is screaming into a pillow. 41 year old me wants to scream into a pillow, but is responsible enough to not want to wake up the neighbors.

No, seriously…I am legit screaming at what this is.

I’m not even sure it encourages piracy. That would assume amazon has content people want to watch.

Name an amazon show…

See? You can’t do it. Nobody can! It’s like trying to name lost media from the silent movie generation. Nobody would know what you were talking about if you did name one.

I don’t know what to make of this. Regular tiktok just is sooooo offputting to me. The 50x overlays. The voiceovers which are the basis of the content, with the video that has NOTHING to do with the content. The chinese spying. It’s all just very bad.

But then I remember a federated version would be…different. I can’t imagine it would be like tiktok with text overlays. I can’t imagine the content would be similar either. It’ll be like “here’s the better way to sudo your linux…”

Which, as someone who doesn’t care about linux, I’d find it less offensive, but still wouldn’t care about it.

All in all, I’m not excited for it.

Pin at Cleveland Ohio.

“Location: Cleveland Tennesse”

Wut.

Bluetooth, and I’ll check again when I get home, but I’m almost certain it was already on x-Input.

But what about touching grass?

STOP MAKING MIDDLE AGED MEN FEEL ELDERLY SIR!!!

…oh god. I guess I am on the younger end of middle aged.

sigh Guess I’ll buy a walker or something…

…yeah. Where the fuck am I getting Wendy from??? Even the previous message I was replying to said “Lucy”. God dammit brain. I’m going to need you to not get dementia just yet. I’m only 41…

Does texas not have early mail-in voting?