He just knows the best defense is a good offense.

/s

Isn’t this from South Park?

A previous job of mine wanted people in my team to volunteer for being on call overnight for a week at a time.

No-one did, so they forced us. I emailed all managers involved including HR I said that I would like to opt-out for various reasons like family, mental and physical health, and also that the pay was in no way adequate for what they wanted. Again they pushed, so I replied with I’ll do it but would be unavailable most afternoons and evenings with my kids and things they have on. That I also won’t be able to answer after going to sleep because I take my mental health very seriously and need quality sleep to function.

So the first night I slept peacefully as I normally do as I have my phone set to go to DND automatically. I got called in because I didn’t answer a call that came in last night, I asked when it was, about midnight, and said well that’s because I was asleep.

Go to the next 2 mangers up, say the same thing and they say that I need to answer. I explain the email stating that I would be unable to answer calls at many times including when asleep and how no-one replied with that being a problem. One of the managers was like, wait up, you flagged this; yup; can you send me the email chain; yup. Got removed and told I wouldn’t need to worry about doing it anymore.

It found a new job shortly after that.

Good ol’ fascism! You can always count on fascism to to help people. Well, the right people. I mean, some of the right people, maybe a small subset of the right people.

Maybe the way to beat climate change is to introduce the climate to capitalism.

Alien civilisations will have shareholders too.

In theory, yes. In practice, no.

Firstly, Reducing CO2 levels requires a small amount of sacrifice and minor inconveniences; both of which, while they can be overcome with relative ease are too much to ask.

Secondly, it would also reduce, and possibly redistribute, the net worth of people who have more than enough for multiple lifetimes, and that just wouldn’t be right.

So as you can see, there really isn’t anything that can be done.

And get him some cake. Because last time he didn’t get a piece of cake.

Bigfoot was paid by the Illuminati!

No way! He’ll send them back too!

/s

“Immigants! I knew it was them! Even when it was the bears, I knew it was them.”

• Moe

That farm goes to a different school, you wouldn’t know it.

The batons also fire bullets. In fact, the pepper spray and taser fire bullets too.

Well, it would serve their interests just fine.

The funnest prison on Earth!

All she wanted was a simple lynching of some “undesirables” by other people and no repercussions for herself.

Is that too much to ask?

/s

Well it’s not fair that she should have to suffer consequences for her own actions.

/s

That’s right kids. To avoid this situation be sure to use tabs for indentation.

If there are sub-minimum wages, wouldn’t they be the minimum wage?