I offer absurdist edits of absurdist Heathcliff comics and c/keeptrack of absurdist government.

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  • 274 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 9th, 2023

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  • In plain English this means

    Me “Have you checked for eggs recently? I just saw a bunch in the nesting boxes. Too many for one day.” Wife “Yeah, it’s been a while. Even Rose [the duck], who hasn’t laid an egg in five years, probably laid one.” Me “I haven’t seen our special needs cat, the one we trapped as part of a TNR run on our own property, in the last 12 hours. Have you seen that blessed dumb beast who walks like he is drunk? If you see him now could you bring him inside?”

    Any sufficiently developed culture has its own language. In this house we go out of our way to make obtuse inside joke references to keep each other on our toes.















  • I’m only going to focus on one part because it shows the disconnect between you and I.

    If you have a working printer, toner, paper…

    Who said anything about a printer? I said hard copy. Not printout. Write it down. Carve it into rock or shape it in clay. 3000 cycles and you keep limiting yourself. That 200 pounds of copper wire could be pounded flat and marked with a sharp tool to create a long lasting hard copy. So many options for a hard copy and you defaulted to the one option we can’t even get to work when everything is working.


  • 90% of people would die within the first three months because they don’t know how to cook and we have a three day supply rule in stores relying on just-in-time delivery.

    If you make it past the first 90 you probably have seeds in the ground to get you to the next 90. We don’t just inherit the environment, we shape it. We can start growing our own food within weeks, not reliant on ancestors

    But let’s get back to the topic. 3000 charge cycles, your number, is a lot. All that time can be used to make hard copies of essential information. You can learn how to salvage wire and build new energy sources. An average 2100²ft empty house has almost 200 pounds of copper wire in the walls. 3000 cycles to learn.

    But thanks for telling me who I am and what skills I already have.